 (Sung to the tune of "If I Only Had A Brain") I could work without the feeling that I was double dealing, when housework cards are played. No more dirt, no more trashpiles. I could delete all those old files, if I only had a maid. I could walk right down the hallway, no stacks getting in my way, no dustbunnies parade. And my eyes would not be blinking at the smell of something stinking, if I only had a maid. Oh I would be so high just knowing that the housework would get done. Write webpages for free for everyone, but still get paid, to pay the maid. I could concentrate on some things that didn't involve tub rings or if we need more Glade. And my heart would be a-zooming at the thought of no vacuuming, if I only had a maid. I would spend my idle hours 'neath trees near fields of flowers, regaling in the shade. I'd be calm. I'd be happy. And my voice would not be snappy, if I only had a maid. © Written by Jackie Helvey, December 2000. 2006 Update: Still no maid. Downtown Carrboro Map | Events | Prices | Restaurants | UniqueOrn Enterprises 
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